Thursday, February 11, 2016

...and The Truth Shall Set You Free

Examining the truth about our emotions/feelings and
learning how to express your truth with love and compassion.
Something that is often confused in the realm and belief of religion and spirituality is that feelings and emotions are cruel and/or the work of evil (to tempt us from the path of God/enlightenment). There is a quite prominent belief that in order to become a Saint on the path to God, or to be a true Master on the path to enlightenment, you must not feel negative emotions!  I see it all too often. Even those who are not on a spiritual quest make it their life’s mission to hide their thoughts, feelings and emotions from others to avoid conflict, judgment, ridicule, rejection, pain, vulnerability, fear…you name it! We tell ourselves that negative emotions, undesirable feelings and painful thoughts are unnatural and ungodly and therefore we should reject them and not speak of them. Oh! And if you do you are working with the devil. Okay, I’m being bit dramatic, I know, but this is how we think! (By the way, if this is how you think and you see no problem with it, that's great! Keep loving it! It is not my place to tell you to stop or change. As I believe the truth - and what is right and wrong - is all relative to each person and their own unique reality. This post is based on my own truths and observations. I love and honor you.)

We are so afraid of our emotions and reject our true feelings because we are terrified of the vulnerability and pain they can cause us. We sweep it all under the rug and try to forget about it, hoping it will go away and praying to God (very ironic) that no one will notice. The problem with this is that by discounting your feelings and flouting this very real aspect of who you are, you are in affect ignoring your very own soul. The soul speaks to you through your feelings and the truth is, whether you are on a conscious spiritual journey or not, every one of us are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around. We are three part beings made up of our mind, body, and spirit/superconcious, conscious, and subconscious/energy, matter, ether (which ever you prefer). 

When you disregard a feeling (your soul trying to tell you something) as an unimportant or threatening aliment to your perceived idea of what right and wrong is, you are no only not getting rid of the problem (consciously) but creating an even bigger problem (subconsciously).  It’s energy! Even back in 1905, Einstein understood that we are all made up of energy (E = mc 2)– Everything is energy! Our feelings and emotions are not excluded from this concept, and whether it’s negative or positive emotions/feelings, they all carry energy.
So imagine sweeping dust under the carpet a couple times - not a big deal, right? In fact, it does an excellent job at hiding the problem...for a little while. Now imagine doing this several times a day for a few years. Over time you begin to notice the dust has created a bump beneath the carpet. The problem is still hidden but it’s starting to pile up and in effect creating chaos all around you. Pretty soon the problem makes a grand entrance and people start asking questions.  It’s not long before your family and guests-yourself included-are tripping over the bump; you’ve even started to notice a cough that doesn’t go away (from all the dust). As the bump continues to grow from sweeping more and more shit under the rug the cough gets worse. The problem gets so bad that everyone avoids the carpet all together to avoid tripping over the bump. Now, replace the dust with your negative emotions and painful feelings (that you refuse to deal with) and the rug with your body.

As these feelings and emotions pile up they start to affect the body creating all types of chaos: from conditions as serious as chronic illnesses, deadly diseases, high blood pressure and addiction, to things as small as acne, weight gain, sore muscles, fatigue, etc. Because we are made up of energy we must take appropriate care of our energy bodies, just as we do our physical bodies. I know what you’re thinking: “How do I do that?”

To take proper care of our energy bodies we need to deal with our emotions, our feelings (positive AND negative). Trust them, follow them and honor them as truths.  Live your truth, express your truth and love your truth with compassion and understanding.
“Feelings are neither negative nor destructive. They are simply truths. How you express your truth is what matters. When you express your truth with love, negative and damaging results rarely occur, and when they do, it is usually because someone else has chosen to experience your truth in a negative or damaging way. In such a case, there is probably nothing you can do to avoid the outcome. Certain, failing to express your truth would hardly be appropriate. Yet people do this all the time. So afraid are they to cause or to face possible unpleasantness that they hide their truth altogether. Remember this: It is not nearly so important how well a message is received as how well it is sent. You cannot take responsibility for how well another accepts your truth; you can only ensure how well it is communicated. And by how well, I don’t mean merely how clearly; I mean how lovingly, how compassionately, how sensitively, how courageously, and how completely.This leaves no room for half-truths, the “brutal truth,” or even the “plain truth.” It does mean the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God. It’s the “so help you God” part that brings in the Godly qualities of love and compassion – for I [God] will help you communicate in this way always, if you ask Me [God].So, express what you call you most ‘negative’ feelings, but not destructively. Failure to express (i.e. push out, get rid of) negative feelings does not make them go away; it keep them in. Negativity “kept in” harms the body and burdens the soul.” 
       Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God, Book 2 (page 17)
There are three things in which you can start adopting into your everyday life of healthy energy clean up and living your truth (you want to be mindful and careful that you do not clutter up someone else’s home while cleaning up your own):

Honesty: Be honest with yourself about your emotions and how you’re feeling. Honor your truth.
Awareness: Be aware and sensitive to yourself and those around you, always. Stay in your integrity.
Responsibility: Take responsibility for your own emotions and feelings and be responsible for the way in which you deliver your truth. Do not be blunt or harsh, rather deliver it with love, kindness and compassion.

On the contrary - When someone else is sharing their truth with you, you can use the same three concepts:

 Honesty: Listen to and honor their truth. Accept it as their truth and be honest about how you feel.
Awareness: Be aware and sensitive to their needs and vulnerability (they are sharing their heart, be loving and compassionate). Stay in your integrity.
Responsibility: Take responsibility for your own emotions and feelings and be responsible for the way in which you respond. Do not be blunt or harsh, rather respond with love, kindness and compassion.
“All negativity need not be shared with the person about whom it is felt. It is only necessary to communicate these feelings to the other when failure to do so would compromise your integrity or cause another to believe an untruth.  Negativity is never a sign of ultimate truth, even if it seems like your truth at the moment. It may arise out of an unhealed part of you. In fact, always it does. That is why it is so important to get these negativities out, to release them. Only by letting go of them – putting them out there, placing them in front of you – can you see them clearly enough to know whether you really believe them. You have all said things – ugly things-only to discover that, once having been said, they no long feel ‘true’. You have all expressed feelings – from fear to anger to rage – only to discover that, once having been expressed, they no longer reveal how you really feel. In this way, feelings can be tricky. Feelings are the language of the soul, but you must make sure you are listening to your true feelings and not some counterfeit model constructed in your mind (aka - your ego!)”  
      Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God Book 2 (page 18)
Everyone’s truth is based upon his or her own unique story. Their story up until the present moment has created their perceptions about life, love, politics…everything. From their struggles and talents, failures and successes, to their parents and teachers, friends and enemies; everything they’ve ever been through, everyone they’ve ever met have shaped who they are and how they think. Give yourself permission, and give others permission, to be human and deal with one of the most human things we can experience: our emotions/feelings.

Listen to your feelings, honor your feelings - honor your truth. Do what you intuitively feel is right for yourself. It's important to use your best judgment, not the judgment of others, to heal your trapped emotions (so to speak). Sometimes it will serve you best to just let go of a situation and the anger you feel rather than holding onto it so you can figure it out. And sometimes it's better to let it out by hitting a tree, screaming into a pillow, crying all night long, journaling, seeing your therapist, whatever floats your boat. It's essential to understand, however, that speaking and honoring your truth does not give you permission to word vomit your truth all over the place without a care of whether you hurt someone’s feelings. It’s about taking care of your feelings and dealing with them in the most appropriate way for all parties involved with the most love, respect, compassion and kindness possible. Then letting it go. And remember: You are not responsible for the way in which others respond to your truth. You are only responsible for the way in which you deliver it. 
A little trick I use before speaking my truth (and I admit it isn’t always the easiest. I am human after all) is I ask myself:
-       What would love do in this situation?
-       Would love stay, or would love walk away?
-       How would love respond?
Because love will always bring you to your highest truth and the grand paradox of this all is, as many unique and varying truths as we have individually, we all have one shared, and only, truth: LOVE. And this truth shall set you free.

All my love,

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