Wednesday, March 2, 2016

In matters of life, what gives?

I really believe from the bottom of my heart that life is about love. Love makes everything worth it. Love is what created us, love is what sustains us and love is what destroys us. It’s a beautiful paradox; one that doesn’t question feelings or matters of the heart but throws logic and reasoning out the door. It has no rhyme or reason it just is what it is. It’s the only thing that truly matters.

So my question is this: Why do we spend our entire lives chasing paper, obsessing about the size of our waist or the gap between our thighs? Why do we use jealousy and anger as an excuse to tear down others, people we haven't actually taken the time to understand? We put success in business over a successful and loving relationship; we honor the amount of zeros that comes after the first number in our bank statement rather than the amount of food we give to the homeless, or the number of shoes we place on children’s feet. The hunger for power and world domination has replaced the hunger to help the starving families that live all around us.  As a collective whole, we have exchanged the love that was once ever-present for the corrupt fear based society we live in today. We have superseded the will to serve with the will to control; replaced the necessity of sharing with the uncontrollable thirst for greed, left honesty behind and replaced it with deception; exchanged camaraderie with competition, peace with war, self-love with selfishness, and the freedom of expression with the fear of not being perfect.

If you look around you can see how much fear (lack of love rather) we carry in a world filled with so much beauty. We would rather fear the future and dwell over the past than enjoy the present moment, and grip the side of our chairs in terror watching the news than sit peacefully with our loved ones while watching the magic in a sunset, and we would surely choose fighting with our friends and family over choosing to look at ourselves and start sharing our true feelings for our fear of rejection precedes all other possibilities.

If I’m being completely honest, when I look at all the tragedy and heartbreak that we consume our daily lives with (the news, war, death, hunger, and poverty) I see a choice that was made by all of us. A choice that allows these things to happen to our fellow companions, a lack of love that sits above our desire to connect and help.  A craving for more and more, an uncontrollable addiction to power that is far more commanding than the our appetite for love. We go on and on, looking and searching for those who we can benefit from, those who can help us to the top, those who can provide an extravagant lifestyle full of Maserati’s, Hermes bags, Cartier watches and a toilet made of 14K gold that we forget about those who ask simply for a piece of bread.

It breaks my heart to live in a world where power and greed has the wheel, driving us to our own demise. I realize that most of us feel we do not have enough to give to help solve the problem. I feel into this way of thinking too. I would pray all the time asking the Universe to help me so that I can help others. How could I provide for someone else if I could barely take care of myself? Working 80 hour weeks, barely getting enough sleep I would walk around New York City on my free time, buy sandwiches with the little money I had and give them to homeless people on the street. I would religiously provide treats and homemade meals to the homeless man that lived under the 59th street Bridge by my apartment. I did everything I could yet I felt it wasn’t enough. It felt like a problem too big for me to solve.

After asking the Universe to provide me answers, I was given my answer while I was meditating one morning. It was a profound realization of Love and realized that I was looking at this from a place of fear and lack rather than of love and gratitude.  Instead of being grateful for all that I have and all that I could give to others, I looked at the problem from the perspective of physical. What I realized is that the culprit is not lack of resources, it’s not that we don’t have enough to go around, the difficulty lies in our inability to take responsibility and become acutely aware that we are all in this together. We are all love and it’s not the presence of fear and doubt that creates the divide rather the lack of love. The true offender comes from the power we give to our ego’s. Look around! We have lost ourselves in response to the submission to our ego.  The switches we made while evolving from a society of camaraderie and brotherhood to a society of every man for himself.
 “We are social animals. My future depends on [others]. Their suffering is ultimately your suffering.” - The Dalai Lama 
Our ego tells us that material wealth is more important than the affluence of love, that you’re not pretty unless you are tall and slender, have a chiseled jaw line or long luscious hair. It is our Ego that allows us to walk past a starving teenager on the street, or ignores the silent cry for help from our closest friends. The Ego tells us we are not good enough, it convinces us that we must rise to the top, gain power and money to be respected and loved by another person. You are not good enough as an artist, there is no money in volunteering to help the less fortunate, you are unlovable because you have a muffin top, you are worthless, no one likes you, etc. I’m here to tell you that your Ego is wrong. It will wreck havoc on ones self-esteem, perspective and entire life if and when one allows it to become a driving force in ones lives.   

The cure? Love.

What is the point of living if we can’t experience the pleasure, the bliss and pure ecstasy of what love bestows.  What is the point of this beautiful life if we enter into a race to the top, hoping it will bring us power love and happiness, only to get to the top and find yourself alone and miserable? You see, without love – especially self-love – success means nothing. Love is all there is. It’s everywhere; we must simply reach out and find it. Choose to see it. The first step to finding it is to stop looking around, stop looking and expecting someone else to give it to you. Love starts from within. It blossoms and shines from your very own soul, and when that flower of love blooms it radiates a light so bright that you can begin to attract more love, from all different angles. Suddenly you will find yourself no longer looking for a man (or a woman) to fill that void in your heart because you have filled it yourself. You won’t crave the love of someone else rather want to share your love with that person. You won’t feel you need another, yet you will choose to experience a relationship based on the opportunity to give and receive love.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."                -Denis Waitley
Once I started to love myself I found that, just like love, helping another in need comes from within. It comes from the heart. While I was running around the city passing out sandwiches to the homeless, I was putting a band-aid on the underlying problem: a lack of love. Had I made a simple shift and instead of handing them a sandwich, I could have sat down next to them and connected, heart to heart. Give them some love and attention as I saw how their soul was starving for it. Sometimes more than their bodies were hungry for food. It’s not about the lack of resources, rather it’s about the lack of love. Once this is realized and understood as a collective whole we will see the world start to change, from a fear based consciousness to a love based consciousness. In matters of life, what gives? Love.

All my love,


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